


Home Again, Home Again

by East_Of_Akkala



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Post-Vietnam War, Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past, References to Depression, References to PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29841672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/East_Of_Akkala/pseuds/East_Of_Akkala
Summary: Alex returns home from the Vietnam War. Set after "Days of Future Passed".
Relationships: Alex Summers & Charles Xavier
Kudos: 3





	Home Again, Home Again

**Author's Note:**

> Like all of the other X-Men fics I currently have up, this was written and published a good while ago, but I rather liked it, so here we are again. Hope you enjoy!

Alex Summers had often wondered if he'd walk this way again.

He had lived through years of war in Vietnam. It had been, in one word, hellish. He hadn't exactly had an easy life before he'd gone to Southeast Asia, but he'd take it all back to get away. He'd killed relatively few people, but they were a few people too many. He'd stayed away from the drugs that so many of his comrades had been consumed by, but the price was that he couldn't forget, couldn't slip away. He'd seen villages burn and forests burn and everything around him just _burn_. He'd seen so much, too much. A lot of veterans had trouble, and he could understand why. He knew from the first corpse that he saw, eyes full of daylight and body blistered, that he himself was going to be in for a rough ride.

Never had he dared to use his abilities; it might've helped him out in a pinch, or protected some of his mates, but he knew all too well the vulnerable position he'd be in if anyone discovered his secret. As it was, regardless of his care, someone found out and they'd rounded him up. If Raven hadn't come and set them loose, he didn't want to know what would happen to them. Nothing good, he was sure.

But now, he'd managed to sneak back to the United States with a bunch of the others. Nothing had passed between them on the boat ride to Singapore, then the plane ride to Japan, then from there to Los Angeles, then from _there_ to New York. One or two peeled off at each step, saying goodbye with nothing but their eyes. As soon as they'd landed in New York, Alex had set out for Westchester, silent as the others. He'd given no expression to any of his feelings. He was worried that Stryker and his men might come back for him. He was relieved to be home. Most of all, though, he was just numb. And he was tired, so very tired. He'd been a fighter all the way through, even when he'd willingly put himself into solitary confinement, or when he watched the one person who'd taken care of him instead of the other way around fade. Now, though, he was simply tired of fighting. He didn't think he'd be able to handle Stryker's men if they came for him again. Normally, he'd knock then all flat, but now all he'd do was run and hide

His mind was awhirl as he walked down the last road on his journey. He'd barely slept on the whole trip. Since landing in New York, he'd walked most of the way, with a few short stints hitchhiking. Even so, as he walked this way his mind began to sharpen and his thoughts began to darken. A part of him wanted to stay as far away from the Xavier Mansion as he could. When he'd left, Sean had been dead for two months. Alex had buried his feelings deep within himself then, not dealt with them as he knew he should have. He'd been wary, though, of setting off the other two. They'd had a progressively harder time in the years since Cuba. That last, great loss had done nothing for any of them. Hank had thrown himself into his work, rarely even stopping to eat or sleep. And Charles had withdrawn, the fire in his eyes that had once been enough to kindle all their hearts now burning so weakly that he could barely even function.

Try as Alex might to deny it, watching Charles get progressively weaker, more cynical, had broken his heart. He had pushed harder than Hank to break Charles out of his downward spiral. He'd tried to get him to eat, done his best to remain calm so not to egg on the telepath, and any other little thing he could think of. But for the most part, his efforts had been futile, and Charles had simply withdrawn further. He'd seemed almost as affected by Alex's deployment to Vietnam as Alex himself. Hank's letters since, infrequent but always a comfort, had remained intentionally vague when it came to Charles. Alex hadn't minded; somehow, he knew that hearing about what Charles was going through would dampen his spirits even worse. If Alex's leaving had pushed him even further to the brink…

All things considered, a small, irrational part of Alex was afraid to go back. That little part didn't want to have to deal with a broken telepath along with everything else. It wanted to be cared for, not to be constantly worrying about someone else. Big brother or no, Alex was a person who sometimes needed to lean on someone rather than look after them. He needed a bit of that now. 

That said, an equally small part wanted more than anything to go home. It was the only stable home he could remember. Most of all, however, he was simply focused on the obsessive mantra to put one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other. He couldn't stop or think, because otherwise, the numbness would consume him. He would lie down where he was and give in. The act would be easy, and it wasn't as though he would be missed. Except for Hank and Charles, he had no one in the world as it was. The two had problems enough without him, come to think of it.

Alex forced himself to look up and get out of his own thoughts. They were taking him on a path he didn't need to be taken right now. To his surprise, a familiar gate loomed above him. A placard he himself had helped place many years ago proclaimed that he had made it home.

He pulled the gate open, then slammed it shut behind him. That it was closed wasn't a good sign; Charles had closed the gate the day they closed the school, and had left it shut since. They'd only opened it when they had to, but mostly just left it to rust. Had he looked around, he might've noticed that the lawn had been mowed, that the fountain had been cleared out, that things were generally better cared for than when he'd been gone. As it was, though, he kept his eyes forward toward the door.

He didn't have to knock, however, before it opened, and Alex found himself staring straight into a pair of electric-blue eyes.

"Alex?" Charles Xavier breathed. "You're back?"

"Yeah," Alex replied, setting down his bag on the step, bending down a little to be on even footing with the other, and meeting Charles' gaze again. The professor was different somehow, but Alex couldn't for the life of him think of why. He looked a bit better-groomed than he'd been, hair and beard actually washed and trimmed rather than left to go wild and clothes cleaner. It was more than that, though, something intangible which had shifted around him. 

"Welcome back," the telepath said, voice still soft but strong, reaching a hand out and taking Alex's forearm. He smiled, not the overwhelming, excited grin he'd had when he'd been younger, but face still lighting up as it hadn't in years.

 _That_ was what was different, Alex realized. His smile had been genuine, and he generally seemed a lot more relaxed and confident in himself. He wasn't where he'd been when he'd recruited Alex and Sean and Hank, but he was sitting just a little straighter than when Alex had left. There was something in his gaze as well, a spark that reminded him far more of the young idealist who'd found him and his fellow mutants and brought them together.

"Professor," Alex replied in greeting, voice devoid of emotion. Perhaps this numbness was to be his default state now. He'd gone through several in his short life: worry as a child, anger as a teenager, contentment after Charles and Erik had found him, and a slow slide into despair in the years leading up to Sean's death and his deployment. He wondered if the Professor had felt this way, if that was what had dulled his eyes and made him fear and hate his mutation. What if he ended up nonfunctional like that now? Perhaps his old mentor seemed to be recovering, but Alex didn't want to be a burden.

Speaking of the man himself, he had rested two fingers on his temple. Perhaps the movement was a little slower and far more self-conscious than it had been in the old days, but it was there. Alex felt a tickle in the back of his mind, the likes of which he hadn't felt in a long time. Charles tried subtly warning his friends when he was reading their minds, something he had almost been afraid to do when Alex had left him. Quite frankly, Alex preferred the days when he didn't bother knocking (too hard) when he entered his mind. To him, it implied familiarity, and he'd let the Professor know that when the latter had been starting to show some discomfort with his abilities. Perhaps not everyone felt that way, but Alex did.

The energy bender gave him a little nod without thinking, just in case the telepath still retained any of that fear. By the time he'd left, Charles had consciously kept himself at bay, refusing to use his mutation to read their minds unless absolutely necessary. Watching him seemingly stare into nothing, brow wrinkled in concentration, brought a small smile to Alex's face. The sheer familiarity of the act was refreshing, to say the least.

"My word…" the Professor trailed off a moment later, eyes focusing sharply on Alex's face even as shock and sadness settled onto his face. "You've been through so much, Alex."

Oh, damn. 

Shame settled in. What a way to greet Charles after all these years. What if he couldn't handle it yet? Hell, Alex hardly could. 

The younger man gulped. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked. "I mean, do you want me to-"

"No, no. It's alright," Charles cut him off, holding up a hand. Whatever doubt Alex might've had that the Professor was back was fading just seeing him do that. "You don't have to. I don't need you to put your needs aside for me anymore, and I never will again."

Alex stared. That wasn't the sort of thing Charles had been up to saying when he'd last seen him.

"Not ever again," he said again, tone firmer, yet somehow even gentler. "It's time for me to be here for you, not the other way around."

The energy bender felt his throat tighten and his heart ache with relief. After all the nothingness he'd been feeling, it was like being hit by a thunderbolt.

"Oh, Alex," Charles began once more, then exhaled, perhaps now choked up himself. He seemed to deliberate for a moment before he reached up, wrapped his arms around Alex's shoulders and pulled him close. Even though Alex was without a doubt stronger and larger than the other man, he let himself sink to his knees and be enveloped in the embrace, resting his head on the Professor's shoulder, just above his heart.

If he weren't still feeling deadened, he would probably have cried. As it was, he gave a soft sigh, letting feelings that had been gone so long trickle through him. Perhaps he was being helped along by the telepath holding him. In fact, he could almost sense his mind being taken up by a more powerful consciousness, the numbness being brushed away just slowly enough that he could handle it and soothing sensations being poured into his very soul. He leaned into the embrace just a little further, and felt Charles' arms tighten around his body in response.

He'd been wrong to worry. He'd be taken care of just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I made no reference to Charles and Hank's use of the mutant-suppression serum in this fic, since I have a headcanon that Hank only perfected it after Alex had gone to Vietnam. Thus, he didn't know anything about it. 
> 
> Originally, this was written as a companion piece to something that I'd write about Hank and Charles' responses to Alex being drafted. That wasn't written at the time. It still hasn't been written, for what it's worth. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading, and I hope you join me again sometime!


End file.
